I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Oct 04, Salela rated it it was amazing. What I will add, however, is this: Lorraine Dusky has written a compelling memoir of her experience as a first mother, forced by the historical ideologicial circumstances of the s to relinquish her daughter at birth. Her experience is born in the Baby Scoop Era - when 1.
There have been a few excellent memoirs of first mothers and their experiences as well as some excellent books depicting this era from an historical perspective. But what Lorraine Dusky does that is so unique is to tell her personal story in a compelling way, including insights into her daughter's struggles as a result of adoption, and also weave in the historical facts of the era through her skill as a journalist.
Her book reads at once like a novel and yet is firmly situated in the well documented facts of the times. The footnotes provide a rich resource for understanding the legal underpinnings of the machinations at work, providing a vehicle to understanding both the subjective experience and the sociopolitical circumstances within which that experience took place.
Hole in My Heart can serve as an excellent addition to the Women's Studies, Social Science or Human Services classroom to fully round out and problematize our discussions and understanding of what it means to talk about reproductive justice.
Rarely do we visit the consequences of women's lack of access to good reproductive health care, including proper counseling on the ramifications of adoption should she be encouraged to go down that road. In light of the current backlash on Planned Parenthood, I urge as many as possible to read Dusky's memoir to get a fuller sense of what the ramifications may be if women once again lose access to autonomy over our reproductive decisions.
These are decisions that impact many - first mother, offspring and adoptive family. There is no win-win-win here. But we can all learn more about what it means to be human and to be abandoned by society when we are at our most vulnerable. Jul 03, Margie rated it it was amazing. Although Lorraine Dusky's story is one that unfolded over many years, Hole In My Heart is the kind of book you have to read in one go.
When I did, over a weekend not long ago, I found myself transported back in time. For while Hole In My Heart is an incredibly personal story of one woman's pregnancy and the loss of her child to adoption, it is also the story of every woman of that time who longed for more than the mainstream thought we should have. Reading Hole In My Heart feels like having a cup of coffee with Lorraine while she recounts painful experiences that would bring the strongest person to their knees.
And yet in spite of overwhelming loss and betrayal, both held deep in her heart while she fought the workplace and family battles that make up the stuff of women's lives, Lorraine retained humor love her dry sarcasm, delivered at the most appropriate times and an amazing ability to pick herself up and keep going.
I do not say "move on," because Lorraine most definitely didn't do that. She took stock of where the world was at in relationship to adoptees and first parents, strapped on her sword and fought a very good fight for justice on their behalf. I appreciate the factual and historical information about adoption policy, law and the fight for open birth records - very important information for anyone interested or working in adoption reform.
But mostly I appreciate the way in which Lorraine shared her experience: without varnish or apology. This makes Hole In My Heart much more than an adoption book. It's a book about all women, really, and the strength with which we survive, thrive and do good work in spite of the challenges and pain we face. Aug 06, M Sisco rated it it was amazing. Society loves to put sparkly frosting on the concept of adoption: homeless little darlings being taken in and rescued of course they'll be grateful forever, right?
So insulting to the intelligence of anyone who stops to think for one non-superficial minute, what about the original mother and family members? How do the psyches of all involved fare for the long term? Dusky brilliantly tells her own story as a first mother, the heartache and lessons learned, the fallout and attempts at healing, the complicated facets involved after reunion, for mothers and adoptees.
Secrets and lies and forced gratefulness are toxic. This incredible book is crucial reading for not only those involved in adoption, but all of society. Like the suffragettes who went up against the odds in a society determined to keep women pushed down, second-class citizens, Ms.
Dusky brings to light the unacceptable inequality for both first parents and adoptees in the concept of stranger-infant adoption. Aug 25, Betty Yoder rated it it was amazing.
An honest to goodness portrayal of a lady who has lived years through giving up a baby for adoption. From the hurt of loss, through legal problems to search for the daughter she wept and yearned for her whole adult life. The writing and story is suburb. It is a book of fact that actually is hard to stop reading. What an education! Our children were born in the early sixties and I remember how difficult it was then for children to find mothers and mothers to find sons and daughters.
Wha Riveting! What an atrocity! As a non-fiction book, it reads like a fine novel and is full of emotion, anxiety, and regret.
How you live this book as you read it is amazing. This is a must read for adoptive parents and mothers who had to "give up" a child in that era and even now. I highly recommend this book to anyone, young and old. It is a pleasure to read and the knowledge is invaluable! I received a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. Jun 22, Cherie Jones rated it it was amazing. An adoption story that brings to light the antiquated laws that continue to dominate today.
Aug 25, Eileen rated it it was amazing. An amazing memoir by one of my heroes! Jul 15, Evan Brandt rated it it was amazing. Lorraine's years of experience as a journalist serve her well in weaving a tale that is both personal and factual; poignant and penetrating.
This book takes you beyond the fairy tale depiction of adoption that is served up in made-for-hallmark movies in which everyone lives happily ever-after. It dives deeply into the intense and complicated panoply of issues and emotions that surround a process of separating a child from the mother who bore her or him.
Whatever else adoption is, and it can be many Lorraine's years of experience as a journalist serve her well in weaving a tale that is both personal and factual; poignant and penetrating. Whatever else adoption is, and it can be many things, it is always this. And an action this extreme does not come without consequences; most certainly consequences for the adoptee as well as for all others involved and to pretend otherwise is to do a disservice to all of them, the author argues.
This book pulls no punches and takes the reader through the pain, the burning desire to know more and the often mixed emotions that re-connecting can and quite often evokes. As a peripheral character in this story familiar with the broad outline, Lorraine is my step-mother I began this book not realizing how much of the story, particularly the early story, I did not know, and how deeply heartbreaking it was at times, and uplifting at others.
This is an important book because it can help those who have experienced adoption from any side of the equation, better to understand how a natural mother, adoptive mother, adopted child, may feel and how those feelings can drive behavior that can seem puzzling, but makes sense in the context of who they are and how others in their situation have reacted in similar circumstances.
Lorraine's willingness to share so much of her personal history and inner self in this book gives the reader an anchor to gain perspective on the complex and often contradictory currents that swirl around adoption. And make no mistake, this author is a strong advocate for open records and makes no apologies for it in laying out her case; a case based on solid research and data as much as it is based on personal experience and interviews.
Anyone who reads this book will finish it realizing how far-reaching and misunderstood adoption is in this country. And no one who reads this book will ever view adoption in the same way again. Hopefully it will help us approach adoption with a deeper understanding of the fact that separating a mother and child can never be a small thing and treating it as a secret only ultimately compounds the repercussions.
Dec 31, Sandy Smallwood rated it it was amazing. A beautifully written book by First mom, Lorraine Dusky, about the struggles she faced in a 'closed' adoption system in America.
Her words put a light on the relationships that are forged from a system where mothers were not allowed to know their children, and children were not allowed to know them.
The stigma of an unmarried women before the 's was enough to lose your child forever and never know what happened to them. It also sheds light on the American Adoption System, where there were 'no' choices as these young women were pressured by society to relinquish their children to strangers, to hide the stigma of being a single, pregnant women. Our society still accepts 'closed' adoptions and Sealed 'tight' Original Birth Certificates based on these old societal ideas.
This may result in heart failure and extremely high pressure in the blood vessels of the lung. The individual may experience difficulty breathing, swelling of the lower extremities, and arrhythmias as a result of this defect. Ventriculoseptal Defects: In case if the hole is in the lower two chambers of the heart then it may lead to heart failure early in infancy. It may also result in right heart failure as time passes and the holes get bigger.
Atrioseptal and Ventriculoseptal Defects: These cases are also quite rare and the intermixing of blood may cause cyanosis of the skin especially in the lips and the nail beds. The infant may also have heart murmur. Fluid overload in the lungs may also be a problem arising due to this defect. I had hole in my heart when I m 9 years and it's repaired by doing open heart surgery. Now I quite smoking. But I m scared. Does that smoking. Cause any problems to my heart or the patch on my heart.
I m scared now. Does the hole reopens. In my heart. Now I m 19 years old. CardiacMatters - 6-Aug AM. I had hole in my heart when i m 9 years and it's repaired by doing open heart surgery Now i quite smoking But i m scared Does that smoking Cause any problems to my heart or the patch on my heart I m scared now Does the hole reopens In my heart Now i m 19 years old Akki - 3-Aug PM.
Akshay- Your Question:. I had open heart surgery. When I was 9 years old. I had hole in my heart. They said that operation was successful. Bt Now I m scared. That can I get back that hole back in my heart.
Because sometimes I fell like feeling uncomfortable in my heart. Or my heart is murmuring. Anyone with a congenital heart defect, repaired or not, who is considering starting a family should talk to a doctor. The doctor might recommend repair before pregnancy. In most cases, atrial septal defects can't be prevented. If you're planning to become pregnant, schedule a visit with your health care provider.
This visit should include:. Mayo Clinic does not endorse companies or products. Advertising revenue supports our not-for-profit mission. This content does not have an English version. This content does not have an Arabic version. Request an appointment. Overview An atrial septal defect ASD is a hole in the wall septum between the two upper chambers of your heart atria.
Request an Appointment at Mayo Clinic. Chambers and valves of the heart Open pop-up dialog box Close. Chambers and valves of the heart The heart has two upper and two lower chambers. Atrial septal defect Open pop-up dialog box Close.
A child or adult with a septal defect or heart hole is referred to a cardiologist. Heart hole or heart defects, in general, are the leading cause of death in birth defect related deaths. Although, the number is declining with the advances in health care over the past few decades increasing the chances of survival. Based on regular check ups, a doctor may suggest treatment on children with a medium or large hole in heart at two to five years of age.
Treatment generally involves surgical or catheter procedures to seal the heart hole. Ventricular septal defects are usually monitored if they do not cause any symptoms. In case treatment is required, it is done through:.Nov 28, · Hole In My Heart Lyrics: I've got a hole in my heart / Where your love used to be / I've got no air in my lungs / We used to breathe / I've got a hole in my heart / Where your love used to be.